Op-ed: How I Was Tricked Into Homeschooling
BY LIZZIE MARGOLIUS
Do you remember the movie Mean Girls (the original, of course)? Cady Heron was homeschooled and naturally, she was stereotyped as a weirdo freak who lived among the lions in Africa. Be honest. Raise your hand if you think that’s what homeschool kids are like. Eight years ago I would have held my hand high.
We are pretty much your typical family. Our house is always a buzz with kids, family, activities, and stray pets. My kids think snacking is an Olympic sport and I find their Legos everywhere. Yes, we are just like most of you, except our kids go to school at home. Yes, my kids are happy. Yes, they are smart. Yes, we do lots of schoolwork and yes, they give me a hard time about it some days. Yes, my kids do socialize (eye roll) — they have friends, they play sports, and love going to the library. They love being outside and they like to collect Lego sets just for the minifigures — which they consequently lose. My kids do all the things that other children do, it’s just that their mom is also their teacher and learning takes place at the kitchen table instead of in the classroom.
Our life wasn’t always like this. My kids were enrolled in a private preschool, and I was going to be the mom who went back to work once they went onto elementary. I was going to finish my to-do list, which is always running about 6 months behind and have a clean home, go to the gym, and see my girlfriends. Then Covid hit and even our private school went cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs over aerosols floating in the hallways. My two older kids were sullen, but cooperated since this was an entirely new world we were living in.
At the end of the year, I asked if the school would have the same Covid protocol the following year and they were unsure. I had decided then and there we were not going through that again. It was a nail-biter of a summer as I kept checking in with the school, who was waiting on the county health department to advise them. By mid-August still no answer and we left for vacation. It was then that I received the email that changed my life. The school would be maintaining the same Covid protocol as the year prior. I immediately withdrew my kids while sitting on the couch at our Airbnb and then sat there repeatedly thinking, “Oh, crap, are my kids truant? Now what am I going to do?”
Most Columbus schools had gone back the week we were on vacation, and I had zero backup plan for my uncompromising decision to not go through masking, distancing, aerosol hell again. We came home and immediately told our neighbors what happened. One neighbor, a vice principal to a suburban elementary school, high-fived me and said, “Good job! I would do the same if I could.” My other neighbor, an ex-Columbus city teacher said, “Just homeschool. It’s only kindergarten. You can teach the alphabet and numbers, right?” My wheels were turning. It’s only kindergarten. I have a B.S. in business and Spanish. I ran a $40 million department at the age of 24 while living in Manhattan on my own. It’s only kindergarten I kept telling myself. And shortly after I submitted my letter of intent to home educate my oldest. Four years later and we haven’t looked back.
In that time, here’s what I’ve learned. Parents really are the gatekeepers to what their kids experience. We are the first and last lines of defense to protecting our children. Gate keeping doesn’t just include what they hear, see, read, but also what they learn, or don’t learn for that matter.
I’ve learned that home educating gives you invaluable time with your kids. If I sent my kids to school, they would spend about 150,000 hours away from me and in the care of someone else. That time away leaves lasting impressions for better or worse. For example: my four-year-old came home one day from preschool and said, “Miss K said so and so was the best president.” My husband immediately turned to him with one eyebrow up and said, “You’d better go talk to your mother.” My sarcastic response to my son was, “Your teacher, while great, is extremely misguided.” But my son loved her and sided with her. This gave me mom envy that my son took someone else’s word over mine. No one will love or guide your children like you do. You should be their primary influencer.
I’ve learned that home educating allows me to really know my children’s strengths and weaknesses. My oldest loves history and writing. My middle detests anything to do with English and prefers science and drawing. My youngest, well, he’s five and outstanding at making a mess, spelling his name, and snuggling. Knowing your child’s strengths and weaknesses prepares them for finding their purpose. It’s not just about funneling them through an education system. It’s about your children discovering their passions and gifts, which hopefully leads to a successful and fulfilling life.
And lastly, I’ve learned that I am the best teacher my kids could have. By the way, I do still have a to-do list that is 6 months behind. But I also have time to see my girlfriends, volunteer, and reluctantly go to the gym. So, if you’re thinking about home education, do it! If you have small kids then I will tell you what I was once told, “It’s only kindergarten.”
